T-minus 8 days

8 days untill im home. Im still not sure what my feelings are about everything. Im sure that ill miss that boy like crazy but im still skittish. He seems to be grasping at any available straw there is to get a plane ticket. Trying to scrap every available penny to get enough money. Im letting him do all the work for it. I let him worry about how much it is and when to actually buy it. Even though secretly I worry about it as well. I try not to let him see that I care. I want him to do it so he will appreciate it more. Its funny because he gets really stressed about it easily and he is only doing 1/5 of the stuff I would do before coming. He only has 1/5 to do because I've already taken care of the rest of the stuff. He told me its easier for me to come to him because im way better at the multitasking! hahah But he is right. He sucks at taking care of things with details.

The regulars at the pub are holding a raffle for him to raise money. So nice of them. They all love him to death and want to help him out as much as possible. His visa meeting is this friday. I think we will both be relieved when it is over. I know he is scared they will turn him down because he is Czech.

The only thing I keep thinking about is what about after his 3 month vacation to the states. What next. I need something next. I will not go months and months apart. Its just not healthy for me nor him.

If there is not something next then I know I'll be done.

I can not believe my time has flown by this quickly. Im dreading the next 5 weeks because I know it will be hard for us to adjust. Im worried he will go crazy again. Im worried Ill get depressed about it. As much as i try not to its so hard. I am doing WW when I get home and ill be doing summer classes for close to three weeks so that will keep me very busy the first 3 weeks. Then ill be moving into my new apartment in meadville so I can occupy myself with decorating and maybe doing a little painting. Plus I need to get a job! eeks. I want to do something from home. I wonder if those advertisments about stuffing envelopes are real? hahah That would be sweet! Now that I write everything down I think the time will go quicker than I initially thought. I will be in school from 830am- 800 pm 5 days a week till May is over. So that leaves me with just 20 days of june before he comes. I can do this.

~meg