i know I promised 4 & 5

Im not decieving you at all. I will post the last three sections but just not now.

on the topic of 4 (Jaroslav)

our relationship wow moment happened last night. I never thought It would come. haha We were discussing the never ending topic of what next? Talking about our relationship of course. When he told me that he knows I want to keep him in PA for ever and ever. But he is not willing to do that unless he is a NZ Citizen. Or if he has residency/citizenship in the USA secured. He is not willing to have no home again. He absolutely does not want to return back to the Czech. He is a resident as of now in NZ. It takes 5 years of being in NZ before he gets citizenship. He is only at like 6 months right now : (

I always thought that once I got my shit figured out and the traveling out of me after graduation I would prob end up coming here to NZ for 3 or 4 years untill he has citizenship and can leave for good still retaining his citizenship here in NZ. (in case anything would not work out). Untill recently Ive been thinking about it and that puts me at age...hold your seats....28 yikes. I want to be owning a house by the time im 28 with a secure job and hopefully a husband. So here comes the wow moment. He tells me he is a bit reluctant to come to the US for ever. (mostly because he is a bit scared) but then he said the most adorable thing ever. That he wants to put a ring on my finger and he is absolutely positive he wants to be with me forever. And he doesnt want me to have to move here to wait for him before we start our lives. Because by 28 he too has plans of house family marriage and career. Now that may not seem like a big thing because thats what ppl in relationships do. They tell each other wonderful things and plan thier future. Well NOT us. hahah. We fight about where we want to live. US or NZ. The US leaves us with so many more options than NZ does. He is just now realizing that. Education, Career, Money Family and support network is all larger in the US. He even went as far as to talk to his parents about it. See what they think about him giving up his NZ residency to become a US resident and hopefully citizen. His family has worked very hard to become residents of NZ and he is unsure of thier feelings. His dad did tell him that I am a smart woman who has very strong instincts and follows her ambitions also that he should listen to me. hahaha Now this does explain why his mom has been crying nearly every time we go over there. She keeps sobbing saying he is never going to come back when we leave. My heart feels her pain but Im sure there will be many trips back to NZ for me and yoda. Besides we arnt doing anything rash now. He is buying a return ticket. He will be back.

This is a long journey for us. One that will not be easy or heart breaking. Leaving a country you call home and a loving family behind is hard for anyone. I am so pleased that we made this huge step towards our future. More hard decisions to come im sure of it. We have looked into it and if we were engaged he would get an automatic visa entry into the US. Then we would be forced to get married in 90 or less. Which doesnt exactly suit either of us. We dont want to push things to fast. So we may have to explore other options. blahhh

I will be glad when this is all said and done!

love always everyone
meg