one day you will realize what it meant

I am very disappointed in myself. Ive lost all self control in terms of the food I eat and how much I work out. Basically it goes like this I Eat shit food, and workout a total of zilch. haha. This week I started running again. Raw emotion of a fellow friend struggling with weight issues has brought me back into my own fight against those dreaded 15lbs that make me look like a whale.

At school I was so motivated even starting the first fitness club at IUP. It was amazing to watch some of the girls and guys transform. Two or three of them still email me looking for advice and support. Which brings me to why I started feeling guilty. Here I am encouraging them to stick with the program and giving them advice. When in reality Im doing fuck all here! One of the girls that I really feel that her life has changed just for the fact I believed in her writes me a couple times a week. This week she hit a very rough patch not wanting to work out and facing disappointment every time she stepped on the scale. She writes me a reply to my email telling her not to give up that the hard work has already paid off. Her response is that Im right and that im such a roll model for her because Id never give up.

Well little does she know im now a lazy ass.

No more lazy ass!

ok now im going out. I have to work at 6am tomorrow so im sure going to the pub is the best possible decision! After all you only live once! Im here to have a good time thats for sure : ) Im still looking for some fellow americans to cause some havoc with. I have found a canadian well yada has in his quest to meet my request of finding some american friends! ohhh I did meet a hot hawaiian boy at the bank. He totally walked right up to me too. Ok well her worked there so he may have been obligated to talk to me but he seriously picked out to wait on of like 20! Ill let my ego feel good and say its because he was feeling the "im horny for you vibe" that i was.

hahah

love and peace everyone

do me a favor and indulge yourself today. Buy that expensive purse, or a plane ticket for the weekend to somewhere you never have been. I hope it feels good for you!

xoxo