I hate that no matter where i am or what im doing i still hate this week. Empty is what it always feels like. I hate even more that im away from my sisters. sometimes I even hate her for dying and leaving this giant gap in my life. 17 years is along time to be motherless. People lie when they say it gets easier when time passes. It just gets harder because you begin to nolonger remember, and not remembering makes you feel even worse about it. I had a panic attack and poor yoda had to witness it. I was so mad when i caught him smoking a cigarette i flew off the handle at him. I have never been physical when fighting with anyone but I actually pushed him twice and it was not lightly. It scared me that I could get that mad. It just took that one small act to trigger it tho. Then the tears and hyperventalting started. I wish it were next week already.
No comments:
Post a Comment