I hate my messy room today. I hate school. I hate living alone. My current loneliness drives me to nest. Im in this huge nesting stage. Not having a home or a boyfriend who is here makes me want to get married and buy a house. It makes me sick that I actually want that but I do.
Oddly enough I love the thought of jumping on a plane and leaving this world i currently live in. I like telling the people who care about me that im leaving to retreat to my own paradise. Its like an obsession that I have to prove. I have to prove i can and will do what i say and set my mind to. Im not sure to who im proving this to. Possibly myself.
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